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Husbands, Wives, Marriage and Instruction According to God's Word

Husband and Wife in the Bible (in the KJV New Testament)

Husband(s) is found 59 times.

Wives is found 12 times.

Wife(s) is found 75 times.

Marriage is found 16 times.

Marry is found 16 times.

Very few of these verses are instructions for husbands and wives.
These are the few instructions for husband and wife and there are no contradictions with one another:

Why Did God Give Adam a Wife?

Genesis 2:18-25 KJV
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.



In the New Testament here are some verses that have commands for husbands, wives and both:

CONCERNING LOVE:

Ephesians 5:25-26 
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

Husbands are commanded to love
-agapao = to love {chiefly of the heart (wholehearted, unconditional, devoted). This is also the same word that Jesus used when He asked Peter if Peter "loveth thou me"? the first two times Jesus asked he used agapao.

Colossians 3:19 
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

The bible has a lot to say about bitterness.  It defiles.

Hebrews 12:15 
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;


Titus 2:3-5 KJV
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.


Love towards husband above here is : philandros: affectionate to one's husband (as a wife).
Love towards children above here is: philoteknos:  maternal or motherly love.



Husbands are commanded to love wives. Wives are not commanded anywhere to love her husband. Additionally, the word for love is different in Greek verb: agapao = to love {chiefly of the heart (wholehearted, unconditional, devoted).




Is it important for a husband to love his wife?
Is it a sin for a husband to be unloving towards his wife?
Is it ok for a husband to not love his wife for a few days because he is angry at her?



CONCERNING THE WIFE'S SUBMISSION TO HER HUSBAND

Colossians 3:18 
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.


1 Peter 3:1-2 
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.




Ephesians 5:22-24 
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

"every thing" above is from the Greek pas meaning = all.


Is the wife's submission to a husband important in a marriage?




CONCERNING DIVORCE:

Husbands and wives are both commanded to not leave the other except for the cause of fornication as Jesus made clear.

Example in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.


CONCERNING NATURAL SEXUAL DESIRES
God made men and women to have a desire for sexual intimacy. And for most they are not able to control this desire without a spouse. God gives us marriage.


Hebrews 13:4 
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.


1 Corinthians 7:1-4 
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

A husband and wife are for each other.  We do not have authority over our own body, but rather the spouse has authority over the other's body.


CONCERNING SEX WITH SPOUSE

Spouses are not to deprive one another of sex. This opens a door for Satan to tempt which can lead to a destroyed marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:5 KJV
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

-incontinency is : lack of control.  Control of what? Sexual desires.


We either do things God's way or we suffer the consequences. We aren't going to be perfect, but I trust God and His word.


A WIFE IS TO BE TREASURED
I cannot find bible verses speaking of husbands in the same way a wife is held up to be cherished.

Proverbs 5:18-19
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.


Proverbs 19:14 
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Proverbs 18:22 KJV
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.


Mystery of Marriage

Ephesians 5:25-33 
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.


My Summary:
God made man and woman.  God made woman for man. The wife is the help meet and the husband is to love her, to cherish her, and to honor her.

God gave man and woman sexual desires.  God gives a man a wife to be married to and that is the only person that sexual intimacy can occur with.  This is a special thing for both.  A man or a woman is not abnormal if they want sex with their spouse on a regular basis.  But it is not loving to give a guilt trip if sex is not happening. The word speaks clearly on this matter of defrauding one another which is also defined as depriving. 

Do you want to deprive your spouse of the love he or she is willing to receive from you? If so then you need Jesus to save you from that.








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