When we think of our lives we often don't see things from the perspective of the truth we find in the bible. When we do that our definitions can be wrong and our actions based upon our realities can dictate our action, inaction and reactions.
If you believe God's word to be true then you should agree with following statements. If you do not agree then you will have a different perspective of how you should live life as a human and as a spouse. Many people that name the name of Jesus Christ as Lord do not understand some simple facts and if any of these points you are confused then go to the Word of God and dig deeper. Ask God for wisdom from Him knowing that you know He knows all and you do not.
1. God created us in His image and likeness. That is pretty awesome.
Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
2. God gave a commandment to Adam before Adam had Eve as his wife:
Genesis 2:16-7
And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
3. God gave Adam a wife because he said it is not good that man should be alone. God gave him a woman for the purpose to help him in life.
God made woman out of man. Adam was from the dust and woman from the rib of man. Woman was made for man. Turns out that even though woman was second in creation of humans that does not diminish the importance of women or make them any less important. Man and woman are both made in the image and likeness of God.
Genesis 2:18 KJV
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:20-21-23 KJV And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
4. God set up the union of man and woman and refers to the female as wife.
Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Gen 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
The Hebrew word used for wife is
אִשָּׁה '
nashiym (naw-sheem')
Defined as: the procreational female of a species.
5. Man is to love his wife and Jesus loves the body of Christ (believers)
Ephesians 5:25 KJV
Some thoughts of mine here:
Hebrews 13:4 KJV
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage can be destructive:
If there is disharmony in a marriage then intimacy breaks down. This can lead to
Proverbs 13:12 KJV
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
If you believe God's word to be true then you should agree with following statements. If you do not agree then you will have a different perspective of how you should live life as a human and as a spouse. Many people that name the name of Jesus Christ as Lord do not understand some simple facts and if any of these points you are confused then go to the Word of God and dig deeper. Ask God for wisdom from Him knowing that you know He knows all and you do not.
1. God created us in His image and likeness. That is pretty awesome.
Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
2. God gave a commandment to Adam before Adam had Eve as his wife:
Genesis 2:16-7
And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
God made woman out of man. Adam was from the dust and woman from the rib of man. Woman was made for man. Turns out that even though woman was second in creation of humans that does not diminish the importance of women or make them any less important. Man and woman are both made in the image and likeness of God.
Genesis 2:18 KJV
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:20-21-23 KJV And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
4. God set up the union of man and woman and refers to the female as wife.
Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Gen 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
The Hebrew word used for wife is
אִשָּׁה '
nashiym (naw-sheem')
Defined as: the procreational female of a species.
5. Man is to love his wife and Jesus loves the body of Christ (believers)
Ephesians 5:25 KJV
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
1 Peter 3:7 KJV
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
6. God hates divorce. But it is allowed in some situations (fornication).
Malachi 2:13-16 KJV
And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
1 Peter 3:7 KJV
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
6. God hates divorce. But it is allowed in some situations (fornication).
Malachi 2:13-16 KJV
And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Concerning divorce Jesus said it was permitted in the case of fornication. Fornication can be adultery or a number of sexual sins. Many would also say looking at pornography is fornication and adultery. Of these things I am not certain.
Matthew 19:9 KJV
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Fornication here is the English word used for the Greek word:
porneia
Definition given:
1. prostitution (including adultery, incest, and porn).
2. (by extension) unwedded stimulation or fulfillment of sexual desire.
Divorce is permitted, but not commanded. And God hates divorce so that is not the first place we should look. When you have a spouse that sins against you know that they are also sinning against God and their own self.
7. It is better for a person to marry and have a spouse than to fornication. Also, a spouse is the only source for sexual intimacy for each spouse. So if one denies the other or both deny each one of sex then Satan will have a doorway unto tempting you into sin. With that said, we are not to use bible verses to order our spouse to do something we want.
1 Corinthians 7:2-6
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7. It is better for a person to marry and have a spouse than to fornication. Also, a spouse is the only source for sexual intimacy for each spouse. So if one denies the other or both deny each one of sex then Satan will have a doorway unto tempting you into sin. With that said, we are not to use bible verses to order our spouse to do something we want.
1 Corinthians 7:2-6
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
Some thoughts of mine here:
I heard a pay preacher say, "if you don't pay the bills that are due, they become past due and then things start getting turned off". This can be something we experience in marriage if lets just say a husband stops taking care of the things he normally takes care of around the house thereby causing the wife to feel disconnected and then the husband is not loving towards his wife and the wife just is too repulsed by her husband to have sex with him. The point is that sometimes there are bigger problems going on than just little sexual intimacy frequency. The defrauding spoken of above I believe has to do with a selfish kind of sexual rejection. This is all very complicated but if we do the things God says a marriage can be restored if both people are willing.
8. It is allowed to have desires for your wife. It is normal actually.
Song of Solomon 4:9
Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck.
Song of Solomon 4:9
Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck.
Hebrews 13:4 KJV
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage can be destructive:
If there is disharmony in a marriage then intimacy breaks down. This can lead to
Proverbs 13:12 KJV
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
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